I haven't been out much since Eid, and nothing interesting happening around me except for the child which is growing inside of me.
So I decided to post parts of emails sent by a friend (yes I took permition to post them) about the struggle of changing her life. So here it is.
"I'm working on breaking through my shell. The indifferent, the resentful shell I have built around me over the very short past years. It is like an addict trying to fight his addiction, as I am fighting the need to hide between the four walls of my home, comfortable in the dullness of my life. It is the tedium and ennui which is killing me with each passing day, and which I'm working to defeat.
The memories of my youth still vivid in my mind. I know I wasn't like this before. I was a carefree happy go lucky person who enjoyed being with people and doing new things every day. Each day was a new adventure for me. Each day was a new experience.
Yes I miss the company of my friends. My friends whom I have alienated, I am sorry. I am sorry for pushing you away. It was all beyond my control, a reaction to something deep which was and still is building inside me. I tried to think of a name for it, or an excuse for its presence. But no matter what I think of, it isn't an excuse for me to have pushed you away.
I miss the gatherings, the laughter and the gossip. I miss getting ready and dressing up for our meetings. I miss my red nail polish, my clothes, just looking beautiful.
I might sound shallow to you. You might think the little things I yearn for are ludicrous. But to me they complete the full picture of me and make you understand the sad state I have drifted in.
Even now as I'm writing this I'm trying to prolong it so I'd waste time and put off exercising, and just don't let me start talking about exercising!"
The memories of my youth still vivid in my mind. I know I wasn't like this before. I was a carefree happy go lucky person who enjoyed being with people and doing new things every day. Each day was a new adventure for me. Each day was a new experience.
Yes I miss the company of my friends. My friends whom I have alienated, I am sorry. I am sorry for pushing you away. It was all beyond my control, a reaction to something deep which was and still is building inside me. I tried to think of a name for it, or an excuse for its presence. But no matter what I think of, it isn't an excuse for me to have pushed you away.
I miss the gatherings, the laughter and the gossip. I miss getting ready and dressing up for our meetings. I miss my red nail polish, my clothes, just looking beautiful.
I might sound shallow to you. You might think the little things I yearn for are ludicrous. But to me they complete the full picture of me and make you understand the sad state I have drifted in.
Even now as I'm writing this I'm trying to prolong it so I'd waste time and put off exercising, and just don't let me start talking about exercising!"
